I wanna know who you love.
I want to know who keeps you up at night making you go crazy because you’re playing that “whos gonna break the silence and talk first” game.
Who makes you cry true salty tears.
Who makes you smile and laugh as if you never have before in your entire life.
You know what I am talking about right?
Where every song on the radio is obviously about you and your upcoming love story.
That breaking all your mother’s rules because nobody can understand how one person can completely make you carefree and risk almost anything.
Being so sleep deprived you end up walking around like a zombie half the time just to stay up with them and ask about each other’s lives, the real getting to know you stage.
Favourite animal, colour, place to travel, where they live, where they want to live, you know it. Dreams, ambitions, pets names, parents names, first goldfishes name for god sakes you know it.
Have they told you how their siblings can drive them up the wall on a daily basis?
Or how badly they wanted siblings growing up?
You see today, and yesterday, I watched “Everything, everything” a 2017 modern romance movie. It basically broke my heart.
How can a movie break my heart I could imagine you wondering, well, this movie was so good I fell in love with it. The characters and everything, how somebody could imagine such a beautiful romance and it isn’t even real. I made my mother sit down and watch it with me because I secretly wanted her input on it. During the best part of the movie, where the couple runs away to Hawaii and spends an unbelievably beautiful day together obviously, she looked at me and said: “Who was your first love?”. What a question, that we all know the answer too. She even knew the answer because it was her shoulder i used to cry over my poor broken heart.
So who was it? Who made you feel like you never wanted to look at another person ever again because you don’t even want to go through the pain they just caused you to feel.
But you did, didn’t you. You try again and again.
If you haven’t guessed yet I am secretly a crazy die hard romantic. (Oops, secrets out)
I live for receiving roses, going for long walks on the beach, having romantic dinners where you stare at the person sitting across from you as if nobody else was even at the restaurant. I want to wait with anticipation for weeks just for someone to work up the courage to tell me they love me like they were choking on the words because they are so nervous but happy they finally said it. As if this stuff even happens anymore. As if a boy is actually going to find paper and sit his butt down to write you a love letter and mail it. Dreaming now, aren’t I? As if people don’t just type “ily” and send it through their cellular devices when they assume the other person wants to hear it. Don’t get me wrong, some boys and girls aren’t like that, they love the heck out of their significant other, they would probably do backflips to keep a smile on their face. I want that.
Can you think of the craziest thing you have ever done for a person?
I can, the truth is I’ve done some pretty crazy, stupid stuff for people I have loved. Some I regret, of course, some I truly don’t. See when I love someone, I love with everything I have. I would do anything and everything for someone I love, there’s my hopeless romantic coming out again. Fair warning though, it’s as dangerous as it sounds.
It’s as easy for someone to tell you how they feel and mean it, as it is for someone to say it because it’s what you want to hear. So how do you know the difference? This is what I’m trying to figure out.
It’s all a risk. Getting to know someone always is.
Is that what keeps drawing me back for more?
Is that why we all go back for more?
See I feel like I can write about love forever. Don’t worry I won’t, but the point is love is just something I simply don’t understand. It’s complex and messy, it’s wonderful, exciting, it’s addicting. My mother says I will just know when it’s right when someone is right for me. It will be easy she says. I mean she has been married to my father for about twenty years now so how can she steer me wrong?
Love is everything. I mean, love is just a word with a meaning but honestly without it what do we have?
I can tell you I love my family, my dog, cat, small town, house, car, it’s simple to admit that because I know exactly why I love those things. I can’t however, tell you why it hurts so badly, emotionally and physically (yes a physical pain in your body) to lose something you love. Like I said sometimes it’s something I simply don’t understand.
So my loyal readers, before I keep rambling on, who do you love? Do you love each other with all you have? Are you still searching for the right person, are you not even worried about such a thing right now? I want to know. Did you find love at first sight? Do you even think that exists? Are you going to sit down and write a letter to the love you lost a year ago? Well, I hope you do. Because I may be a silly romantic in our modern day and age, but I would rather experience it over and over again than not to at all.